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A great sense of humour

The Rambler 29/03/2003

Hugh has a great sense of humour. As soon as I saw him the other day I knew by the grin on his face that he had something to tell me ... just bursting . . .

"Well?" I said, "What have you been up to this week?"

"It's Tommy," he said. "I fell in with him at Drake's, on Friday night. He was bravely on. In fact he had one or two too many. He was nearly footless, so I walked him home. I didn't go in, because I know his wife might have blamed me."

Anyhow, I have just left him. I asked him how he had got on. Had his wife waited up?

Boys, he gave me the best answer that you ever heard. "It was all right," he said. "She was waiting for me, all right, but I just got the picture, no sound!"

As soon as I heard that, I remembered that Sam McCurry, the author of the 'Ballads of Ballytumulty' had written an amusing piece on the same subject. Here is the tailpiece.

THE UNRULY MEMBER

Something had happened! that was sure;
In vain its nature John divined,
But very soon her sulks to cure
A plan designed.

The nooks and corners of the room
He started fiercely to explore,
An' all the time a look of gloom
His visage bore.

The plates that stood in shinin' rows
He searched behind them all in turn,
The pockets of his Sunday clo'es,
The empty churn.

The settle-bed he opened out,
It seemed to him a likely spot.
The quilt an Sheets he flung about,
But found it not.

He looked in every, bowl an' mug.
Behind the clock where cobwebs cling,
He tried the cracked oul' China jug
That held the string.

Now Kate was meanwhile sittin' by,
Pretendin' not the least regard,
with the corner of her eye
She watched him hard.

This dhredful man was sore to bide,
She felt, in throth, quite overcome,
But, och, her temper and her pride
Long held her dumb.

At t last the boilin' point was reached,
No longer silent could she be,
She started from her chair and screeched
In lively key.

"John, John, You doithered crayter, stop!
What in the world has gone asthray?
This blessed night I'm fit to dhrop.
What is it, pray?"

"Tis found," he cried, and danced about;
"I knew I'd find it soon or late:"
"Found what?" she asked him, with a shout.
"Your tongue, good Kate!"

Who said 'Silence is golden'?