Look Closer
What do you see, nurses, what do you see?
Are you thinking,
when you are looking at me?
A crabbit old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes.
Who dribbles her food,
and makes no reply:
When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish
you'd try."
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is
losing a stocking or shoe.
Who, quite unresisting, lets you do
as you will;
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill.
Is that what you're thinking, is that what you see?
Then open
your eyes, you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still,
As I move
at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I am a small child of
ten, with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love
one another.
A girl of sixteen with wings on her feet;
Dreaming that
soon a true lover she'll meet.
A bride soon at twenty — my heart gives a leap;
Remembering the
vows that I promised to keep.
At twenty-five, I have young of my own,
Who need me to build a secure happy home.
A woman of thirty, my young now grow fast,
Bound to each
other with ties that should last.
At forty my young ones have grown up and gone:
But my man stays
besides me to see I don't mourn.
At fifty once more babies
play round my knees;
Again we know children, my loved one and
me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead...
I look to
the future, I shudder with dread;
For my young are all busy, with young of their own,
And I think
of the years and the love that I've known.
I am an old woman
now, and Nature is cruel,
'Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body it
crumbles, grace and vigour depart,
There now is a stone where I once had a
heart.
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now
and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I
remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again.
I think of the
years... all too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact
that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, nurses, open and see,
Not a crabbit old
woman, look closer — see ME!
By Phyllis McCormack
Published in the Sunday Post 11/06/2006
Now made into a film available in DVD at www.amandawaring.com
